A Morning That I Will Never forget...

On that morning, LZdaddy woke earlier than usual, he didn't finished washing what he was supposed to wash last night....

While he was washing, he saw Princey(aka zhuzhu) ate 2 mouthful of his meal and went to the toilet and peed (he was trained to pee & poo in the toilet & newspaper). While he was walking towards his cage (that was his cosy corner), he fell.... LZdaddy helped him up and he tried again to go into the cage but he was too weak to even lift up his leg to go in. LZdaddy immediately called me to the kitchen and at the same time told me to prepare for the worst. It was 0645hr....

I saw him lying down there, next to his cage, gasping for air. I controlled my tears..... LZdaddy carried him to the toilet to clean him up. I told LZdaddy that I would like clean him up before he goes.... We talked to him.... At that moment, I know he will be going.... Within minutes, he was motionless... I think I cried very loudly....

While I was crying, I still have to do my part as a mommy, get L ready for school.... Z was awake then. LZ knew what happen by then but they leave me alone, I think they didn't dare to ask me any questions. They have never seen me crying like that. I tried so hard to control my emotion, I didn't want to scare LZ... LZdaddy sent them to school and I was in the toilet, with Princey.... talking to him and covered his body with his favourite towel.

After some time, I called my cousin to ask her what should I do... My cousin cried... Yes, I know... He will sooner or later... He was old, in August, he would be 14 yrs old. He wasn't suffering from any illness, it was old age. I thought he would live till 16 or perhaps 20 yrs old.... Thus I wasn't prepared for his death... I should have seen it coming... He has not been active since beginning of this year, but I refused to face it. I thought I was over sensitive... I hate myself for that!

LZdaddy was very sweet... He said Princey has never sit in the new car before. We would send him off in the new car. From our house to Mount Pleasant Hospital, we cried... We talked to him, telling we were we heading, telling him not to worry about us and we would see him in heaven and lots more.... Soon we reached the hospital... We arranged a date for a private cremation and booked a place in the Columbarium for him. This is the least I could do for him for his final journey....

I'm sorry Princey.... You have to be in the chiller room till 28th... This is the date that is available for the cremation and I wished I can keep you with me till then but I can't.... Though I will be away for the weekends, I will be missing you.... I'm sorry I will be away... I have booked the trip for LZ and I hope you understand... Without doubt, you will be on my mind...

Thank you my DH, for taking some time off work to be with me and go through it with me. Thank you LZ, I know both of you will miss Princey, our little Zhuzhu... My 2 babies have been very sweet too. They cried with me... They consoled me.... LZ hug me now & then when they see me crying... "mommy, please don't cry." "mommy, we miss zhuzhu too ." " mommy, zhuzhu in heaven now. He is with God, he will be happy. " .............

When they want a drink, they helped themselves in the kitchen, they know I will start crying if I step into the kitchen. That's because they caught me squatting next to his cage, his bowl and water holder and was crying. I asked them if it is ok if I don't cook for the next few days, they said ok. They asked daddy to buy food. I'm sorry babies...

LZ misses him... I'm glad that they don't feel the pain as much as I do... LZdaddy explained to them... They are handling it quite well. I think L understands better. We all talked about the times we played together etc... I hope LZdaddy will allow them to be there during the cremation... They never have a chance to bid farewell properly to Princey... But will it be better if they don't attend? I'm not sure... We will discuss that later...

Anyway, through this incident, I see different sides of people.... It happened in a day! Some showed empathy, some even laugh it off! I thank those people who showed empathy but for those that laughed, why? Do you think it it funny? Do you think it is silly of me to cry? Nope! Princey is my family! If you lost someone you love, don't you cry? Some of you might be wondering did I go around telling people my pet died? Why many people know? Well, my eyes was swollen! Obviously I cried!